German

Germany produces fine automobiles, guns, cameras, wine, and of course beer (and many other wonderful products, I'm sure).

Do you know the german alphabet? There are thirty letters:

a (ä) b c d e f g h i j k l m n o (ö) p q r s (ß) t u (ü) v w x y z

ß is a special german letter. It looks like a »B«
but actually it's an old combination of »s« and »s« or »s« and »z«. So it's called »ess-tset« (»ess« is the german name of »s« and »tset« the name of the letter »z«). (It's similiar to »w«, which is also an old combination of two letters: »double u« or »double v«!)

ß is pronounced like english »s« (in »mouse«) or »c« (in the word »ice«), e.g. groß (»big, great«) = »groce«, beißen (»to bite«) = »bicen«. (German s is pronounced normally like english »z«, and german z like »ts«.)

When a short vowel is followed by a consonant in German you use »double consonants« (bb, ff, ll, mm, etc.) Instead of kk you use ck, instead of zz you use tz, and instead of ßß you use ss.
So »groß« is pronounced with a long »o«, but »Boss« (»boss«) is pronounced with a short »o«.

I do hope that my english isn't so bad, but i wrote an A in the last test! And according to an Website of some-english-speaking-institute i achieved the Advanced Learner's level.
By the way, i'm German and i don't wear leather-pants (Lederhosen) (hope this word exists in english)

Stefan was telling a story, but we weren't really listening. »... and then a wolf came down from the mountains and ate a German.« »What,« we said, »ate a human?« »Not human,« he sighed. »GERMAN.«

German : Der Käse ist schwerer !
France : Le fromage es plus lourd !
English : The cheese is heavier !

50 kilogramms of cheese – Reiner Heugabel 48 kg

Ich wünsche mir eine zwei Meter große Germanin, zur Verbindung meiner Gehirnhälften.