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I better dont wait at all. Looking for signs is the best way to become paranoia. Sometimes I feel close to it. I will have to collect again the rest of the energy to get myselve out of this no-perspective situation. But I am tired. Work to do, things to enjoy, many things I used to like. Maybe I just vanish without notice. I feel like I want to go to sleep for a long time, and go on with life ..I dont know. But things dont happen like this. Maybe I just rest inside, and show funktionality to the outside. Do I regret. Yes, I regret so many things and sometimes I regret to live. It doesnt have to be fun all the time, but life should be worth living. Why there are persons or one person, that doesnt stop to change my life, and pushes me forward, until the last energy is taken by the hope of help?
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